My Soliloquy of Adoration

Two leaves and sunlight

Once upon a time…

The air feels crisp and clean today and the leaves are crunchy and fallen. The blue sky bends low to touch my mountain and I exhale for just a minute as I thank God for all of this.

“The unthankful heart discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!
 -Henry Ward Beecher

My soliloquy of adoration needs a voice so that others will know just how praise-worthy God is. Hiding within the sonnet or the poem or the psalm, is a language learned only by divine discipline and to keep it inside is to defraud the world of the truth as I know it. It is a truth that should be shared like a warm meal on a cold night. And as each course makes way for the next, the unfolding of the main dish is presented… and the famished eat.

pink leaves and twigs

I’ve heard that good things come to those who wait but I loathe this saying because the waiting is hard. But, in the end when God has spoken and the way has been made plain, my heart knows its prayers have been answered. And as He makes a way for praise, I am reminded that the path to it can be like a knife being stabbed in the heart, while at other times it is breathtaking and lovely and calm….and I should praise Him for both.

When a fork in the road presents itself, I ask myself which path I will take. Sometimes the path that looks the prettiest is not the safest. God sets before me the path of life and the path of death, and I am given a choice. When the path of life looks messy I want to hightail it out of here, but doing so only leads to the path of death. Moreover, the road to glory begins and ends with praise, and when I wander and wonder and travel with a passport that reads my native land as being Heaven – I will need to carry a heart full of thanks and a mouth full of exultation.

Sometimes the messy IS the beautiful! When I can recognize it as so, I am liberated from the negative and ugly ungratefulness that I am tempted to wear like a gaudy pink chiffon dress on prom night, and instead I put on the garment of praise and wear it with the simplicity and beauty of a woman of God.

And I watch and pray…

tiny twig and leaf

My Enemy prowls the border of my land, my home, my mind. I feel his cold breath and he is patiently waiting for a doorway into my world. This ancient devil has memorized my every weakness and I can sense the nefarious plans that are being laid out for my destruction. But as his red eyes stare and he grins cold, and as he is waiting for a permanent home within my heart – a lush living quarters, a room with a view – I remember to praise. And as I do, heaven is summoned and angels are dispatched and I am covered with silver wings from up there.

Little faith grows big when the heart worships. And praise sends me soaring.

I am awake. I am breathing. I am the daughter of a heavenly Father who looks at me with eyes that are so full of love and acceptance… and I don’t deserve it. There will never be a love to compare with this, because nobody else will ever send their own Son to the cross for me…for me.

I have a husband that God loves me through…the Christ-like love I am shown on a daily basis runs deep like a river and its waters never stop hydrating the drought that attempts to parch my very life. I am the wife to a straight-up man of God. And I have a school-girl crush, a hard-core romance, and a true-blue friendship with this Boyfriend/Lover/Best friend, and the adversities we face – they baptize us with waters of devotion and patience and we do this life thing…TOGETHER.

red berries

“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”
– G.K. Chesterton

My once pretty couch is defiled by little hands wielding markers that were supposed to wash off…but they didn’t and now I want to file a $350,000 lawsuit against Crayola for damages and emotional distress. But instead, I thank God, because all of those purple marks on that couch – they are evidence that my name is Mommy. And I love that. The perfectionist in me wants to scream out in anguish when I look around at the lovely chaos, but I can live with all of this because it is perfectly messy, beautifully chaotic, and poetic justice is being served for all of the times I tortured my poor Mama with all of my own disorganized piles of “stuff” when I was a child. Life is a gift and I want to praise Jesus for the dirty dishes that never ever end and are always crusty with ketchup, and for the hands to be able to clean them. Hi, my name is Mommy, and, well,…I. Am. Blessed.

fall foliage

As the night draws to a close and the tub is filling with the warm water and my one little candle is lit on the side table, I can sink down into the waters of gratitude and wash away all of the stress and worries and frustrations from L-I-F-E, and this posture of praise brings me a spirit of rest. It’s all good because He is good. And to that I “amen” out loud.

“Let us thank God heartily as often as we pray, that we have His Spirit in us to teach us to pray. Thanksgiving will draw our hearts out to God and keep us engaged with Him; it will take our attention from ourselves and give the Spirit room in our hearts.”
-Andrew Murray

The End.

A Country Divided Needs Prayer…

lake and sky

Once upon a time…

A country divided is tossed with half hope, half fear. And the need for prayer has never been greater than it is now.

We are the Church but we have been tricked into thinking that we are just a building into which we assemble together for our weekly services. We gravitate towards the pews where our portly behinds plop, and as we belt out the words to Amazing Grace, the meaning holds little truth to our everyday lives. But another year passes…

Prayer sits deep begging to come out, but we hold back and save it for special occasions or for when we are on the brink of panic. We have become weak and lethargic, and crying out – actually CRYING out – is foreign to us. We have turned a deaf ear to the real problems of this sick world and we pretend not to know them. We focus on the wrong things, and as we do, the little ones perish. We shake our heads in disgust because men dress as women and hide in department store bathrooms, yet, we don’t cry out and beg God to save them, change them, or rebuke them. And as innocent babies are having their brains sucked out by monsters in human form, we offer only our canned prayers and cold hearts.

(And the worm who is typing this is not worthy to be doing so, but has only lately been awakened to the state of urgency that God is laying upon her own heart.)

dry leaves

God help us to be more than we have been. Help us to recognize that if we will truly pray, He will truly answer!

Where are the tears, where is the burden, where is the fervency??? It’s not about quantity, but quality. A prayer prayed with genuineness and faith touches the heart of Jesus and healing comes swiftly and beautifully. And we can walk away from that encounter knowing that we have been heard by our Creator and that we will be answered!

But the silence…it is so loud. (But not loud enough to drown out the sound of the falling teardrops of God that hit the windowpanes of heaven.)

man holding autumn leaf

Prayer changes things and if there is no change then we can be sure there is no prayer. Prayer moves the hand of God and it builds the faith of the one doing the praying. And the Father listens intently to His children – it’s what He’s been waiting for!

We are not alone, so we should go to the throne.

We have been given a second chance and we should forsake complacency!!! Is there a difference in the way you were praying when you thought you were losing your country? I wonder. Oh, how high we climb when destruction is at our doorstep, yet how fast we fall when all seems well. My heart aches with a dread of what we will have to face if we slide back to the way we were before this election. Judgement begins at the house of the Lord, and the next time we are faced with a situation like this there may be judgment, not mercy. I pray to God that we will all sense the urgency of the hour. The blessings that we have recently been blessed with can be removed without warning and so we must ask God to show us what this means to each one of us individually, and we must pray and never cease to do so!

All the time and energy we have put into promoting our candidate!  Have we spent as much time in prayer? Or in changing the world for the cause of Christ?  Because seriously…there are so many people who are crying when they should be rejoicing, but they just don’t have a clue, and they need you and they need me to show them the truth.  We can be a light to the dark world but we will have to leave our cliques and clubs behind and forsake the comforts of the church building to embrace the rejection and persecution from the world.  This means that self-sacrifice will have to crucify self-righteousness, and as we climb up on that cross we can be sure that the nails will teach us how to love the unlovable.  But I am sure that as we cry out and groan and sob in prayer, that God will replace our stoney hearts with a softness that molds willingly and the church – the true church – will grow.

straw and corn

We should be students of God, teachers of truth, and devotees to prayer. And we should petition heaven for wisdom and fire from on high to fill us and guide us for His work.

And if we make it through the next four years, we should be able to say that the world is a different place and that we have fulfilled the ministry that we have been called to… the noble ministry of prayer.

“If My people, which are called by My name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.” (2 Chron. 7:14)

A heart that prays can only see
the eyes of God through humble faith-
And when the world casts out the meek
The Blood that flows from Calvary’s day-
will cleanse and heal and hold the weak.

A heart that prays moves Heaven’s hand
with tears so raw and words so pure-
with Gospel hope in Beulah Land
with desperate cry and answers sure-
like gifts of seashells in the sand.

A heart that prays holds hands with God
and walks with angels through the dark-
With feet wrapped up and Gospel shod
the demons shriek while hearts embark-
to change the world and save the lost.

Bible and sword

Let’s dare to pray big and cry loud and let our words and our love be a light in the dark heart of the dark world…And as we are baptized into the world of earnest prayer, let us teach and preach and beseech…

And. God. Will. Hear.

The End.

Empty Cups Need Filling…

Tea Cup

Once upon a time…

A Jesus girl sits and ponders.  How can a heart carry so much?  And why doesn’t it release the ugly…willingly?  Why the holding and letting go and then coming back to that ugly?  The returning to the vomit like a dog.  Yeah, that.

Empty cups need filling…

A long time ago there were women who walked this earth and they had uncommon faith, uncommon valor, uncommon courage.  But here I am, along with too many others, and we aren’t crying enough, reaching high for grace, or bending low in humility.  We sit where we are placed, hands folded neatly with lips zipped tightly and we wear our “submission” badges proudly.  And as the oven timer beeps we pull out another gross casserole and we convince ourselves that this enough.  But what if there is more?

The high calling of motherhood.  The privilege of being a wife.  These are absolute blessings from the hand of God.  Yes, for sure.  And a woman should fulfill these roles first, and with a yielded heart to Him so that the laundry can be done as a sweet smelling offering to God and family.  A woman fully yielded to God sits with her cupped hands pointing heavenward – and they are open, ready to be filled. “…Oh that Thou wouldest bless me indeed, and enlarge my coast, and that Thine hand might be with me, and that Thou wouldest keep me from evil, that it may not grieve me! And God granted him what he requested.” (1 Ch. 4:10)

What could that mean for you?  Your children aren’t the only ones crying…so are your sisters in Christ – and they need YOU.  And they need ME.  And as anxious rivers flood their souls, we can be the voice of God to calm them.  Serenity in clothes hugs the feminine needy tight and with her touch she mends.

Tea cup and saucer

Empty cups need filling…

We should work while it is day, because when the night comes no man (or woman) will be able to do so any longer, and the regret that we shall feel at the realization that there is so much more we could have done…Oh, yes, what an unhappy epiphany that will be.  The “what coulda been” will eat us up.  Now is the time to cry out and surrender with a sword in the hand and a praise in the mouth, and as we learn how to fight the enemy in our camp we should train others to do the same.

Empty cups need filling…

Mary Magdalene… she was filled to the brim…first with devils then with Jesus.  Her dedication and courage would qualify her to be a card carrying member of the inner circle of God.  And as she journeyed to the garden on that morning that she saw the resurrected Savior, her followship sowed would become Hope reaped!

Ruth held hands with sorrow for a time, but as she lent her love, God blessed.  She left it all to find what mattered and like Esther, she came forth the better, the blessed, the broken but beautiful, and used for such a time as this!

tea cup with saucer

Faith poured out from a woman is powerful and pretty all rolled up in one.  And a sword that’s wrapped in daisies will still wound the enemy.  One does not have to forsake their femininity to FIGHT!  We are called, we are chosen, we are daughters of the God of peace and what’s His is ours, so let us claim without shame, in the name of Jesus Christ!  Because really?  We need to ask ourselves why we are living so far below our inheritance.  SO much was accomplished for us on the cross, yet we observe a partial salvation, casting much aside.  He daily loads us with benefits while we walk on in a pathetic state of spiritual lethargy.  We are seated in the heavenlies with Christ Jesus, yet we live in poverty with the devil.

Empty cups need filling…

Satan hates the woman with a special kind of hate.  Yes, and it goes way back to the beginning in the Garden of Eden.  “And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life. And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.” (Gen. 3:14-15)

tea cup and saucer

Girls, it was through the womb of a woman that our Savior would pass and break the void, and be born to a world full of raw hate and fearful pain, and in doing so He would conquer it ALL! Mary’s womb was filled up with a baby who would later save the world from their sins. And the devil seethes.

But now… we NEED to lift up the prayer, bind and loosen, apply and appropriate, cast out and deliver, heal and raise up, restore and reconcile, and set the captive sisters who are drowning in the lukewarm waters of the 501-C3-yoked-with-the-government churches…FREE!  If we do not get our spirits in check – if we do not cry out with all of our hearts – if we abide in our comfortable Laodicean pew – We. Will. Perish.  From the inside, out.

Teacup with saucer

Empty cups need filling…

We should beg our Father in heaven for leaders that will truly recognize the state of our churches and weep and repent for the spiritual stupor and hunger of the women (and men) in them while on their watch.  We should pray for godly sorrow to prick the consciences of our pastors who refuse to speak out because their peers would shun them.  We should petition heaven that men and women would be trained and raised up to stand up to the enemy that is invading our churches through subtlety and defiling teenagers and breaking up marriages and stealing God’s money!  We should demand that pedophiles not be allowed to run the children’s programs or perverts work in the bus barn.  And we should pray that the canned Sunday morning prayers that last 33.2 seconds…you know the ones – the same ones prayed by the same handful of men called on by the preacher each and every single stinking week?…We should pray that these will make us puke, and cause us to care enough to get on the floor TOGETHER – begging God for His power to flow through us so that we can actually make a difference!  We should repent and stop spending time in ministry staff meetings discussing the four finger rule or if we should let our women have single or double piercings in their ears.  God help us.  There is so much to do, but here we are.  We think we are just fine, maybe even more than fine, but here’s what God says, “So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of My mouth. Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked: I counsel thee to buy of Me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich; and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see. As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.” (Rev. 3:16-19)

tea cup and saucer

Let’s cry out together: Heavenly Father, forgive us, Lord!  Cleanse us, Lord!  We repent and call out to You to fill us with more of You and less of us!  We humbly yield to Your grace and power to deliver us and to use us to rescue Your hurting and crying and broken sheep.  Oh God, we thank You for our authority in Christ, and we exercise that authority now in the name of Jesus by binding the spirits of fear, pride, complacency, self-righteousness, laziness, perversion, covetousness, sickness, and death.  We cast out all of these wicked spirits and command them to go now in the name of Jesus!  We loosen ourselves and our sisters in Christ, and we cover ourselves in the precious blood of the Lamb!  We ask that you would raise us up for such a time as this, to be fearless warriors for the cause of Christ and fill us up to overflowing!  In Jesus name, Amen and Amen!

tea cup and saucer

Did you pray?  Will you settle for less or cry out for more?  I have a burden, do you?  I have a burden for the women out there who are just existing, and not much else. Jesus loves you and so do I, so let’s press on together and let our voices be heard, Amen?  And let’s live happily ever after because we are the little princesses of our Father – the apple of His eye, and that my friend, is beautiful!

The end.